my kinderbaby.

 yesterday we dropped our oldest off at kindergarten.

it was a weird feeling.

and people kept texting me, "how are you doing mama?" "are you sad?" etc. etc. 

and i wanted to say, "there is no one fighting in my car. i'm one happy gal!"

but that would have been heartless, right? 

but true, yes?

because i'm not sad. really. 

well. kind of, but not in an "i-miss-him-so-bad" kind of way.

it's more of a "i'm-scared-i-haven't-done-enough" kind of way.

i know that he's going to be exposed to all sorts of the world this year {and going forward} that he might not have been otherwise. 

in fact, he probably has been exposed to these parts of the world, but just not in such frequency. 

and satan is trying to attack me and say "your job is done, mama. it's too late. game over."

but that is a lie, friends.

a lie.

no. i haven't done enough. 

none of us have. 

we're inadequate as moms. 

period. 

 

i don't care if you're wonder woman times 1,000. WE are not enough. 

there will never be enough hours in the day to teach our kids everything they need to be taught. to instill integrity in them. to invest in them. and then on top of that make sure there are clean clothes for them and that they're fed. and NOT to mention our husbands, if that applies. 

seriously. 

we are not enough.

but the game is not over. 

praise. the. Lord.

 

His mercies are new EVERY morning. 

say that with me. 

EV-ER-Y morning.

with each sunrise we are promised a new day. fresh hope. 

fresh and new lessons that He pours into us so we can pour out to others. whether that's our littles, our hubbies, our friends or our coworkers.

fresh lessons. from His living Word. i'm grateful for fresh lessons. aren't you?

even though b. is now learning from a world that can offer him anything he wants but little of what he needs, God is still present. He goes with him. and stays with me. 

all at the same time. and that is wonderful.

letting go and letting God is wonderful and challenging and scary and exciting all wrapped into one little package that is my kinderbaby.  and tomorrow i'll choose to let God take him once again, anticipating His protection over my sweet child. 

to God be the glory. always.