6 Simple Things that Changed Everything

With Jeff being in session, there are many times where I feel overwhelmed by the duties of the day ahead of me. Making meals, doing homework, running carpool, giving baths and - let's face it - just keeping these little people alive in general. So this year I have tried to implement a few changes that simplify everything for me, keeping me on task - or at least close to it.

1. A Load a Day

After I had Charlotte, I found that one more small person brings a lot more laundry and I easily got behind. I began reading Fly Lady's website and she has a motto that I try to keep in my head : A Load a Day Keeps Chaos Away. It is so very true.

Now with three kids - some of which have sports - and a husband that runs all the time, staying on top of the laundry is absolutely vital in keeping my mind sane. There is nothing that will ruin my attitude more than having four loads of laundry to do. I don't make sure I have empty laundry baskets every day, because that would require me checking everything several times a day, but I do make sure to run a load through - all the way to the drawers - once a day. (Within reason, people!)

This also allows me to be able to push Jeff's laundry through quickly on the weekends and allows for my laundry room to remain semi-clean. This will make your life easier even if it's just yourself. Yes, you feel like you're always doing laundry, but in reality folding a load of 10ish pieces every day is way less daunting than folding a load of 40+ pieces twice a week. (I see you rolling your eyes but nodding in agreement at the same time, friend.) Trust me on this.

2. Making Lunches the Night Before 

This one is difficult to maintain as routine for me, but I am always thankful when I do it. That's my mantra when I start to get all of the supplies out. I will not regret this in the morning. Oh, but all I want to do is park myself on the cozy couch over there with my book... but no. I WILL get this done.

In order to stay motivated, I set my timer for 15 minutes. I race around getting their lunches packed and then tidying up quickly. I almost always have time leftover when I'm all done. This one isn't fun to read about and it, honestly, isn't fun to do - but it is totally worth it.

3. Getting Up Before Everyone Else

Long-time readers know that this is my number one priority every day. More so than exercise (I mean, hello!) and even more than reading my favorite book - I have to get up before everyone else in the quiet of the morning. This is when I have my time with the Lord, but this is also just a time for my heart and mind to get settled into the day ahead of me. I might not get another quiet moment all day... it's just the reality of this season of life. The only consistently quiet and (mostly) uninterrupted time I can count on during the day is before everyone gets up.

I highly suggest finding a consistent time that you can just be alone in the quiet for a few minutes. Whatever that might look like for you, do it. It has become something that I look forward to and something that I make a priority in my day. Even when we were on vacation, I made time to go downstairs to the lobby, put my headphones in and just sit with my coffee. No, it wasn't quiet, but it wasn't my people hollering at me that they need a snack or help finding their shoes. It was just me, my coffee and The Show Ponies and it was marvelous.

4. Meal Planning // Prep

My week goes so much smoother when this happens. As much as I adore cooking, this is my least favorite step in my week. Meal Planning. I have read all of the tips and tricks about making this easier. I have bought apps. I have tried a calendar where I plan out an entire month of meals. But it never fails that when I sit down to meal plan I come up at a loss of ideas and end up making the same thing that I know my people will eat - or at least not cry about eating.

My meal planning strategy looks like this : I sit down with my calendar and my bullet journal. I look at what we have going on for the week and decide which nights I need to prepare meals. Then I start to think of what we could possibly have. If I'm planning a meal for every night, as opposed to one night picking something up due to to activities or what not, I spread out my work load as follows.

I have one frozen meal, one big meal (where I cook everything from scratch), one crockpot meal, one version of breakfast and one version of tacos. The frozen meal could be frozen pizza or a frozen pre-made casserole. The big meal - when I'm on my top of my game - will make enough for me to freeze half of it so I can have it a future week for a frozen meal.

Breakfast night and taco night are my kids favorites. Taco night comes in all shapes and sizes :: Fajitas, quesadillas, a nacho bar or build your own tacos. Breakfast night consists of waffles, pancakes, or biscuits, eggs and chicken sausage. If I'm feeling generous, I'll throw in some chocolate chips to the waffles and add some bacon on the side. That's when the kids feel especially loved, y'all.

5. Walmart Grocery Pickup (This is NOT an ad, but it should be!)

So this has quite literally changed my life. You might be saying, "Becky, stop! You're being dramatic!" To which I would say, "No, y'all! This is a real thing! It will change yours too!" I don't care who you are, this is one of those things that you will say you don't need, you'll wait forever to try it, but when you do you will kick yourself for not trying it immediately after hearing about it. I swear to you.

So here's how it works :: You go to walmart.com and you create account. You have already meal planned, because you're awesome, and you have your list next to your computer. You start to type in the things on your grocery list. Cheerios, turkey breast, applesauce, vanilla.... Wait. Don't you already have vanilla? You go to your refrigerator, open it up and there she is. A brand spankin' new large bottle of vanilla extract! You just saved yourself $4.39 from buying an unnecessary bottle of vanilla to make those cookies for your neighbor. Congratulations. Now go buy yourself something pretty!

Seriously, though, this system is great for so many more reasons than the scenario I listed above. I only buy the things on my list, I don't have to get my cranky toddler out of the car and pacify him with incessant snacks and iphone games so the elderly ladies look at me like a bad mom. I don't have to go searching for random ingredients! And when it's raining, y'all - they still bring it out to me!! I don't even have to get out my car!! If you're a work at home mom, work out of the home mom, stay at home mom, career woman without kids, wife that stays at home, single person... this could not be better for you!!! Try it and then tell me about it. I dare you.

6. Leaving My Planner on the Counter

This is such a simple thing to do, but it still doesn't happen every day. When it does, my day runs so much smoother, all of our appointments get made, errands get run and people get picked up and dropped off as they should. I have used the Erin Condren planner in the past, but this year I went with the Get to Work Book and I am LOVING it. It's very simple and clean, but it's great for all of my writing projects. I highly recommend it!

I hope all of these ideas help you simplify your crazy life like it has mine! Let me know what you try and if you have any of your own ideas! I'd love to hear about them!!!

Meal Time Struggles

Y’all. 

Meal time at our house right now looks like a scene taken directly out of Looney Toons. Food is flying everywhere, it’s loud and little people are complaining. In fact, I cringe every afternoon when the bigs ask “what’s for dinner?” 

My answer is almost always I haven’t decided yet. Not because I actually haven’t decided but because I don’t want to tell them only to then listen to complaining until dinner time. 

There are three kids and a traveling husband, so often it’s just us four for dinner. Only one adult generally equals kid food being made, am I right? I could make peanut butter and jelly for dinner every night (last night we did have sandwiches), maybe alternate it with a little cereal here and there. Iff you follow me on Insta though, you know that I love to cook, and that is where I have a problem. 

My oldest will eat all fruits and most veggies. He likes his chicken and beef plain but does not like bread, pastas or cheese (not my child).

My middle child (sweet girl), eats just about anything - at least I should say she tries everything. She is my people pleaser but at least I know that when she says she doesn’t like something, she means it. I have to push to get her to eat her nutritious stuff because she will lean toward bread, pasta and cheese but will eat the good stuff eventually (my child).

My third child - God, love him - is by far the pickiest eater in the entire world. There are three things he will eat. Macaroni and Cheese (blue box only), Crunchy Carbs (cereal, veggie straws, etc.) and Squeezie Applesauce. That. is. it. Kill me now, y’all. 

If you haven’t noticed, there is not much that I can make that fits in all three of their categories - let alone is still something that I would enjoy eating. So we have laid down some extremely hard-core, off the wall rules when it comes to meal time. 

Eat your food. 

Boom. It’s life changing, isn’t it? That’s our rule. Eat it. Or don’t. But you better not be asking for anything else (until daddy comes hime with ice cream sundaes - his love language).

Y’all, it’s so bad with our littlest one that we cheered and high - fived him when he put a meatball in his mouth!!! (He spit it right back out, but trying it is progress!!!!)

Do you struggle at all with meal-time? (If you don’t, please don’t respond, because it is official - I do not want to be your friend.) If you have kids of any kind, I know you have to be here some days. There have been several instances where I’ve tried to put my best foot forward, tried to make a meal that should definitely make everyone happy. Only to end the meal in tears and frustration (on my part) and a mess left in the kitchen to clean up. 

In an effort to encourage myself, and perhaps you, I wanted to write down a few things that  seem to be helping as we push through this food fighting season in our family. 

1. Meal Planning. I mean, this is key. I created a pinterest board of Kid-Friendly recipes that look to be somewhat healthy, but also delicious and might please more than one of my children. This is not an easy game, but someone’s got to play.

2. Grocery Shopping according to the meal plan. My new favorite trick is Walmart online grocery shopping! (Kroger offers it in limited locations too!) I can avoid picking up anything I don’t actually need, I can check my pantry as I make my list and I know exactly how much I’m spending. The BEST thing is that I avoid having to fight my youngest in the cart for an hour! Busy Women - this will be life changing. 

3. Always offering all the food. I generally make three choices to be on the plate. Mostly, I portion everything out pretty small because I want them to eat everything before they get more of what I know they like. I also like to make at least one thing that I know they will eat, with the exception of my youngest. He just gets what he gets. He’s not always going to have a crunchy carb or mac and cheese on his plate. It’s just not going to happen. There are many nights that he goes to bed without actually eating anything. My doctor’s okay with that, and so am I. 

My big kids are required to take three bites of everything - and mostly they don’t fight that anymore. Consistency is key. And I do bribe. I'm not above that. 

I am concerned about everyone’s nutrition though, including my own. Recently, I have been introduced to the Honest Company’s DHA Supplement for babies and their Prenatal Daily Vitamins. I absolutely love the Honest Company - and everything they make! I wish they had the DHA Supplement when my kids were babies. Their one-a-day prenatal is one that doesn't make my tummy hurt, so they get a GOLD STAR in my book! These are such good ways to get nutrition in our diet even when our mealtimes are completely off!

4. Chill out. This one is the hardest thing for me to wrap my brain around, y’all. I am totally okay with my kids not eating - they have delicious food in front of them and if they choose not to eat enough then so be it. However, I do tend to get worked up (you could call it frustrated) when there is complaining at the table. What I hope to get into my thick skull one day is that it’s okay. Even in teaching moments like these, they are just kids and I can’t make them not be picky eaters. That is not in my control, y’all. I have a funny feeling that if I would just loosen up, maybe they would too. 

Do you have any mealtime tips with kiddos (or a picky hubby)? I would LOVE to hear them!! Next week I’ll share a few reader tips that we get!

The Honest Co. inspired me to write a post about eating healthy as a family! Thank you, Honest Co., for allowing me to partner with you!

Sunday Night Dinner

A few months ago, one of our Sunday School teachers posed this question :: "If I asked your kids 'what does your family do' what would their answer be?" and it got me to thinking. We have traditions at Christmas time and birthdays, absolutely... and even Saturday morning donuts.. but what do our kids think that we do?

We watch football on Saturdays. And Sundays. And Mondays. And sometimes Fridays.

We go to church on Sundays.

We are pretty strict about bed time.

I mean, I really couldn't even think of anything else that we did on even a semi-regular basis... and the football, even, is seasonal!

So we set out to cultivate family throughout the year. At the suggestion of a friend, we created Sunday Night Dinners.

Sunday Nights have become an such sweet time for our family, y'all. We try our best to gather around our table - just the five of us - and break bread together. We break out the fancy (read: non-plastic) plates, sometimes we dress the table up with candles, place mats and - wait for it - cloth napkins instead of paper towels. We use fancy water glasses and we serve from the table instead of straight from the pot (or oven or microwave.)

We have appetizers. And chocolate milk.

We hang out in the kitchen as a family while Charlotte and I bang around our pots and pans. And yes, usually there is a gigantic mess to clean up afterward, but oh, my sweet friends, it is so worth it.

Charlotte sets the table and Brady clears with his daddy. Jeff is teaching our tender-hearted son how to serve women, and boy don't we need that attitude right now. On a weeknight, if we eat dinner all together, Jeff clears the minimal dishes while I get everyone ready for bed... or even, visa versa. Jeff serves me often, but Sunday Nights have become an intentional way of setting an example for our sweet children. We stop being in a rush, checking everything off the list, and just slow down to cultivate and solidify our family.

Once we sit down for dinner, we go around the table and play a 'game' called "high/low". We share a high from the week and a low. An opportunity to celebrate life's good times and share in each other's disappointments. Sometimes the lows are heavy... and sometimes they're silly, like having to take a roach out to the trash or pick up after Landry.

And Charlotte, sweet girl, almost never has a low. What an example that is for me... to not hold on to anything disappointing. An eternal optimist.

 

Our kids are young - and I know the day is drawing near that our kids are going to roll their eyes when it's Sunday Night Dinner. But for right now, they love it, and that warms my heart. They take part in it and can't wait to share with us about their week.

I imagine SND to be the type of thing that, as the kids get older, is a big deal to invite a boyfriend or a girlfriend to. Of course we think about this becuase we started dating in high school - but I can't believe that it has even crossed my mind as a parent, y'all!  

Please don't let the fancy of all of this deter you - it doesn't need to be fancy at all, y'all. I enjoy cooking - and Charlotte enjoys cooking with me - but I don't like having to rush to get it on the table, like we have to do during the week. So for Sunday Night Dinner (SND), I start early, and that makes it's easier (and less stressful) for Charlotte to help me. Sometimes, we scrap the fancy all together and make boboli pizzas or even breakfast.

We just get around the table. Our table.

Fancy, for us, has simply come to mean special.

What does special look like for your family?

Our dear friends - when presented with the same question - created Sunday Funday. They intentionally do something fun as a family. Picnics, golf range, family bike ride, movie day, etc. Just something to set them apart and say "this is our family". Friends and extended family are great... we love them, but sometimes it's good to just be your family.

I encourage you, to create your own Sunday Night Dinner. Whatever that might be... Sunday Funday, Wednesday Night Out, Date Night In, Dinner and a Movie... create a tradition that says "this is what our family does". Because time goes way too fast.

What Would You Do?

In Shauna Niequist’s new book, Present Over Perfect, she poses the question, “if someone gave you a blank calendar and all of the money in the world, what would you do?” 

What would I do?

If there was no school pickup, football practice or soccer games… what would I do? If I didn’t have to run errands, schedule babysitters and go to business dinners, how would I spend my time? Who would I be? How would I spend my money? 

It’s an interesting question and as I asked myself an answer immediately surfaced for me:

Nothing. 

I would do a whole heck a lot of nothing. 

I would sleep. I would binge watch netflix until my eyes got blurry. I’d eat cheese balls and chocolate covered graham crackers from trader joe’s. I would sit in the stillness and quiet and feel the stress melt off my shoulders. 

My immediate, gut reaction answer is that I would, honestly, do nothing. 

But then I started to let that question marinate. Because the truth is that there are times that I do turn everything off and do nothing. But my stress doesn’t melt away and often I feel a bit emptier than I did before. So, as I step into the fall-season craziness out of the still wilderness season… I want to really ask myself what would I do. 

Here it is. 

I would walk. Every day, maybe. In the quiet of the morning, just as the birds started to chirp. I would listen to my footsteps quicken and talk to the Lord as He whispers back in the stillness. 

I would get ready. I would actually take a shower and attempt a life of cleanliness (even in this hot texas weather). I would put makeup on and get dressed - and not in sweatpants, leggings or workout short, but in for-real, grown up clothes.

I would bake bread and my house would smell of heaven. 

On that note, I would cook. I would spend way more time outside. I would drink my coffee with both hands. I would read. I would make play dough creatures with the kids. I would blow bubbles. I would ride a bike. I would write. I would take my kids lunch at school more often. I would take weekend adventures with my family. I would spend more time at the lake. 

None of these things are outlandish - or even unrealistic if we didn’t have anything else on our schedule, that is. 

But the fact is we do. 

The fact is that I do have carpool, football practice and gymnastics. I do have three kids, a husband who travels, campaign responsibilities, a shop to keep up, food to cook (out of necessity), grocery stores to get to, errands to run and a yard to mow. 

We have said no to everything we possibly can - and want to. Probably more than we want to. We do guard our time. We do schedule wisely. And yet I have time for none of the things that bring me joy and what do I normally do about it?

Nothing. 

But that, my friends, is about to change. 

I am realizing that my life is full, yes, as many of your lives are full. But it’s not lived to the full. 

So here’s what I’m setting out to do: 

I’m going to go to bed earlier. And actually, that simply means (for me) to get into bed earlier. I’m going to keep the TV off and I’m going to read. I have a stack of books on my nightstand waiting to be read, and this is my week to read them. Maybe I’ll sleep better which means maybe I’ll get up earlier which means maybe I’ll actually exercise. 

I’m going to bake bread on Wednesday. I started this ritual when Jeff was traveling extensively and I’m going to bring it back, y’all… because nothing compares to homemade bread. (I’ll have to definitely make sure that I work out on that day, I guess.)

I’m going to write… and it might not be good, but I’m going to write anyway. 

I’m going to paint - and make. Just for me. Not for anyone else. I need to fall in love with making again. It fills me up, it was how I was created, it is a part of me. And I’ve lost it. That’s what happens when making becomes a business. It becomes more about the business than the making. The business has stolen the joy right out of the making… and that is no fun. Ain’t nobody got time for that. 

I’m going to put pumpkins out and get a fall candle and make chili. Heck, I might even light a fire. Not because it’s cold, but because fall brings me so much joy, and it is technically fall, people. 

I’m going to stop filling up my time with aimlessness in an effort to escape the life’s busy reality and start being more purposeful with my time.

I want to live full out. Give it my all. Because I’m not promised tomorrow so I will make the most of today. Even when I’m weary, my mind is on overload and my hand can’t write my list of to dos fast enough. 

I’m not saying that I am willing to forsake my must do’s for my want to’s, but I am saying that I want to do more of them. I want to make time and space to fill my heart with the adventures and joy that were meant just for me.

And now I’m going to turn off my computer and turn my want to’s into to do’s. Won’t you join me today? Won’t you purpose to do just one thing that brings you JOY today?? 

Brady Bug

My sweet Brady Bug.

Happy birthday, dear one. I say this every year, but I cannot believe that you are eight years old. Eight seems so much older than seven. Seven is a little boy, but eight is a K I D!

We had such a great year, didn't we? You played football for the first time - and ROCKED IT. We had a blast in Watercolor. You've been learning about the election and have such strong opinions. You flew to Detroit for a debate with daddy. You went to Cowboys games, Rangers games and had your first sleepover. You learned how to dominate in Madden, build your own lego sets and tackle. You laughed a ton, you made some awesome friends and grew like a weed.

Seven was great.

But now it's time to turn the page and be eight.

What will this year hold?

Only God knows, but let me tell you a few things that I hope for this year.

I hope that your tender spirit continues to grow this year, Brady. You are such a thoughtful kid and I hope no one ever tells you that you shouldn't be. It's rare to find thoughtful boys, but you are one of the most special. (You've learned from your daddy!) Keep that up. Think of others FIRST and yourself last. Encourage the person who feels discouraged. Keep thinking about other people's feelings. Look at others like Jesus did. Being kind is always the best choice.

I hope that your friendships deepen. You have several friends that are awesome, Brady, and your daddy and I pray over them often. We see the ones that mean a lot to you and I pray that those are the ones that last for years. Life is fuller with best friends, sweetheart. It's more fun, there's way more laughter and more people to play with on the playground. Don't  think you can only have just one best friend, but also don't ever think one isn't enough.

I hope that this is the year that you realize how strong you are. We talk all the time about being STRONG and COURAGEOUS, and this year I pray that you start to see this happening in your life. Daddy tells you every morning that it's always right to do the right thing, but at some point it's going to be really hard. But you are strong, sweet boy. And you can always do the right thing.

Lastly, I hope that your relationship with Jesus grows ten-fold. I pray that you learn a little of what it means to grow with him on your own. I pray that you learn what it means to walk with him all day long and that your love for him grows deep. I see this relationship budding and I cannot wait to see it in full bloom!

Brady, I cannot express in words how much we love you. You made me a mom. I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I was prepared, but you never can be. You'll get that one day. But can I tell you a secret? I still have no idea what I'm doing... but you make it so easy. Most days. Thank you for letting me be your mom. It is the blessing of a lifetime.

Love,

Mom

Taking it All In.

So we've started this new thing at our house. Actually, it's only been two weeks, so I'm not sure I can technically call it a thing, but I want it to be one. Maybe you've heard of it?

Sunday Night Dinner.

Yup, I just capitalized it all... as if it is it's own restaurant or something. Because it is... at my house on Sunday night. Mondays tend to hit us all hard and after much discussion between Jeff and I, we decided we needed a better transition. Maybe it's me who needs a transition, but either way, it's good for everyone when momma is relaxed, am I right?

So Sunday Night Dinner it is.

Last night was our second night. We had flank steak tacos, bacon wrapped dates and a cucumber + tomato salad along with chips and our favorite salsa. We set the table outside to enjoy the fruits of our labor from our weekend work. I love to cook, so it is important to me that the smells, sounds and warmth of the kitchen be a part of the whole thing.

Cooking dinner with three kids running down isn't the easiest. It's not the easiest with ONE running around. I have little eyes and noses trying to check out what I'm making to make sure it's to their liking. There are constant questions happening as to when it will be ready, what's in the salad and what can they have to drink. Is dessert going to be available if they eat well? Can they have a snack? I mean, come on y'all... let me cook dinner!

So last night, I put on my cooking playlist and made a plate of snacks for those who were waiting patiently. I had hummus, carrots, salami and almonds out.... so I didn't think they'd eat much to be honest... they were more for Jeff and I.

I noticed something by doing this, y'all... everyone ended up in the kitchen. No t.v. was on, just the music and all of our voices breaking through the chopping and sizzling that was happening. Jeff sat down and chatted with me as he snacked on the food and the kids came in and out grabbing stuff off of the plate.

I was standing at the stove checking my steak and almost tripped over a plastic tupperware that Landry had gotten out. I hastily kicked it to the side - most likely annoyed that I have to pick it up yet again. And then God whispered to me, "Soak it in, Becky. The noises, the toys, the hustle, the laughter... just take it all in, My daughter. It's not like this for long." This was not one of the almost-audible voices, but a very gentle nudging in my soul that came from nowhere... from God.

Soak it all in. 

It's a birthday week in our house so I'm a little more sentimental than normal. I have F I V E more years until I have a smelly teenage boy running through this house. That means I have exactly TWO seconds until he starts to hate us and be embarrassed of us, right? That is not long.

It's so cliche, and I hate it when grandmothers at the grocery store tell me this, but it really does go by fast. I tend to not be super sentimental, because I want to be deeply present in today. The hustle and bustle of the week - and even the weekend - tries to take me away from being attentive to today. The busy tries to steal my moments one by one and throw them into eternity, never to be seen again. But this week I will be intentional about being present in my moments.

That means setting my phone down often. That means turning the news off when I'm done watching it... it doesn't need to be my background noise. That means looking at my kids in the eyes and telling them how much I love them and letting that soak down into their little souls. That means kissing my husband - for real - before He goes to work.

It means letting the little mess ups and petty arguments do nothing to me, but moving on and taking it in stride. It means letting my kids be little, make a mess and teach them to clean it up. (I'm not crazy, y'all). It means noticing the little things in my moments... the sights, the smells, the sounds. The things that will stick in my mind years to come.

And that's why Sunday Night Dinner.

It's a marker that we are a family and God has placed us all together today. I hope that it serves as a reminder that this is where our loyalty lies... this is where our home is set. Together. Not in our house, not in our friends, not even in our dear community. But in each other, deeply rooted in our faith. I picture heavy discussions happening here. I picture family arguments happening here, tears being shed and burdens being carried. I picture laughter, hand holding and prayer happening here. I picture our family being strengthened, lessons being learned and people feeling known here.

My hope for Sunday Night Dinner is that it's something we look forward to more than not. That it's something done with intention and helps to solidify our family of five. A time in the week that grounds us and roots us together in Him.

No matter what happens during the week, or what is going to happen during the next week, my hope is to make a place for us all to take a deep breath, settle our souls and gear up for battle together.

The days are long, but the years are short. We only have this life once... and we only have our kids at home for such a little while. No matter how hard today is... and I know it can be H A R D... let's soak it all in for what it is...

Today.

Sweet Spot

 

Our little Landry is right at 17 months old. Don’t worry, I had to count that one on my fingers because… well, because he’s my third child. If you had asked me yesterday how old he was I’d say with overwhelming hesitation, “fifteen months-ish”?!?

Worst. Mom. Ever.

The truth of the matter is though that I’m entering my sweet spot with him. This is my favorite age. Eighteen months. When he’s figuring some things out, his (big) personality is developing, and he begins to know who we are and recognize what’s going on around him. It’s THE best. 

Can I let you in on a little secret, though?

I’m not a baby person.

Nope. Not in any sense of the word. Truth be told, I didn’t even think I wanted a third baby. (Insert guilt here over the miscarriage. Get behind me Satan!)

I didn’t want a baby, but I did want another child. My hope was to adopt… for many reasons of course, but a lot because I wanted to pick someone up who was older than a newborn and didn’t have to be carried e v e r y w h e r e.

But here we are. 17 months in and we are just beginning to settle in as a family of five. Our Baby Wise Methods have taken a backseat to the schedules of our older two kiddos. What I would have thought was horrible as a first-time mom (like leaving my small toddler with three elementary school girls in another room while they play mom + baby with him) I find absolutely hilarious and even comforting. Pardon my quote, but it takes a village, y’all.

Now the bottles are gone, the diapers are here to stay for as long as I can have them and the park is about to play a major role in our lives… although the swing is the absolute death of me.

And - to my surprise - it’s all good.

Landry is refreshing. He doesn’t love toys - to my dismay - because he just wants to be with everyone else. I've found that he would rather watch the big kids play. He wants to dance (yes, he dances) to all the loud Taylor Swift songs in the kitchen, he wants to throw balls for Georgia and he wants to touch A L L of the stuff he’s not supposed to. This kid is 15 months old, oh wait, it’s 17 now, and he carries around hot wheels and transformers. I could try to wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him from all of the little toys (think barbie shoes and legos) but that’s not real life for us. I will not do it. And that doesn’t make me a bad mom, it just makes me real. 

Ain’t no one got time for wrapping kids in bubble wrap. Now, it might sound like I’m an absentee parent but I’m NOT. Don’t read too much into this… I’m just saying that with two older kids and people cycling in and out of the house with toys, homework, crayons and legos, I would drive myself crazy if I let myself get anxiety over that. I probably would have done my darndest with my first, but this time around I don’t. And instead of letting myself feel guilty, I’m choosing to let it be what it is. There are lots of life lessons in that, aren’t there?

Just like with the legos + barbie shoes, I can do my very best to shield Landry from the hot pinkness or that little lego helmet (bless), but there will most likely be one that slips through. (Let’s be real, it might be more like one a freakin' day). But no matter what I do to protect my kids, the reality is that God is in control, I am not. They are His, not mine. Our days are number y’all, but so are theirs. So. Are.Theirs.

Haven’t we all been there, though? Desperately concerned about our child’s well-being for one reason or another? Concerned about their feeling left out but instead of helping them learn to cope, move on or resolve their own situations, we try to be super mom and swoop in to save their day. But what does that teach them? That we are in control? But that’s a lie and as hard as it is for me to accept sometimes, I cannot - and should not - fix everything for them.

Instead of letting that paralyze us, we can let that free us, y’all. Free us from being helicopter moms that need to control every ounce of their environments. Free us from needing to know every word that is taught at school + free us from the fear of the germy ball pit. Bless.

Wow. So I kinda went from writing about Barbie shoes to writing about God’s sovereignty. But so goes life. He is in everything, when we look for Him, right?

Where do you find yourself today? Are you in a sweet spot or are you in a tumultuous season? Are you finding a rhythm in your days or do they feel more like chaos than routine? I am thankful that 18 months later, we might be starting to find a rhythm. Finally.

Wait… he’s only 17 months.

Have a great Wednesday, y’all!

The MOST Overrated Day EVER + a Printable

shop signs here

Am I the only one who thinks Valentine’s Day is just a tad overrated? Okay, actually, I kind of think it’s the most overrated holiday ever. St. Patrick’s Day might compete with it, but let’s be real here, y’all. Unless you are in a love-sick teenager, Valentine’s Day is about the chocolate, not the love and thoughtfulness of your significant other.

We’ve had a long-standing joke in our family about flowers for Valentine’s Day. It started when I was working full time (at an actual office, y’all). I worked in a section of the office that was filled with women and all day long, flowers were brought back to desk after desk.

Here I was, newly married, and my desk had not yet been filled.

I drove home a little let down. Okay, maybe I was mad. And I walk in the door to our shoebox duplex and there was a beautiful vase of flowers on our table with chocolates (of course) and a thoughtful card, I’m sure. He did remember!

It was so sweet, y’all. Our first married Valentine’s Day - after 7 non-married Valentine’s Day. I’m sure we went on a beautiful date and all that good stuff that poor law student newlyweds do, but I can’t remember much else about it - other than I didn’t get flowers delivered to my desk. 

So when the the next Valentine’s Day rolled around, I made sure to make Jeff aware of my expectations. Yes, I wanted flowers to show me how much he loves me (I mean, y’all….) But what I really wanted was for everyone in my office to also see how much he loves me. (I know you’re all raising your hands for “me too!”)

Here comes Valentine’s Day and the flowers start rolling in. Desk after desk after desk. I’m confident that he heard me - because, they always do, right? - and am able to smile genuinely at the beautiful and intricate arrangements that have begun to arrive.

A few hours into the afternoon my desk was still empty, along with the girl who sat right next to me (and had been married for several years, I might add). We were a bit confused and more than a little irritated… on valentine’s day. Then we see the delivery cart coming around the corner, but no flowers on it. Another let down…. or was it?
 

Two long, skinny, and slightly wet boxes arrive on our desks. Opening them up, we found two dozen long stem roses, in a variety of colors, a package of baby’s breath and a vase… that we had to assemble! It was hilarious, y’all. And needless to say, Jeff was not happy about this “make your own flower arrangement” bit that he paid an arm and a leg for. I was cracking up by the end of it - his thought was the sweetest, just like the previous year, but his best laid plans had gone ary.

Fast forward to the next year when I was pregnant. He ordered an arrangement of roses from a local florist - a different place than the year before - and lo and behold, it shows up again in the box! Dying, y’all… and my dear husband is more than a bit frustrated. I’m sure it’s now become a little pride thing with the guys…. instead of even the girls. I know the thought is there, so really - at that time - that was all that mattered to me, but he wanted to give the flowers that other people oohed and awed over, I’m sure… just like all the other boyfriends + husbands did that day.

Then let’s review the next several years.
The next year, Jeff was all over me about what my schedule was going to be like for the day… what time would I be home and what errands did i have to run that day…. now that I wasn’t working in an office my schedule each day was all over the place, because… obviously.

I was, I’m sure, frustrated that he was questioning me all day. And then suddenly the doorbell rings. But I’m not answering it… because I never answer it in the middle of the day… or anytime unless I’ve seen girl scouts in the neighborhood.

I get a frantic call from Jeff “Why aren’t you answering the door?”

Huh? I looked out the window and there sits a florist’s truck.

That’s right, he had flowers delivered to my stay-at-home-mom door. Bless.

I know how much these arrangements cost on valentine’s day and it’s absurd, y’all. Absolutely atrocious. The thought of him spending that much money (on something no one else was seeing) was almost comical to me. SO I told him over and over again that I didn’t need him to have them delivered. Just pick up some flowers and bring them home. I wasn’t just saying that, y’all… I truly meant it.

But for the next few years, this continued on. He kept referring back to when I first asked him to send them to me instead of bring them home. He was listening… but the situation had changed! I mean, I used to want them delivered but now I don’t care so don’t spend the money… what is the confusion?! Girls are so fickle.

Now, I’m very specific… and we’ve had great, low-key, valentine’s days for the past year or two. I got a small arrangement of dahlias, snap dragons + hydrangeas. They were GORGEOUS. Instead of chocolates last year, I received a paper bag of goodies from Central Market… my favorite salsa, my favorite chips, love dip and fresh herbs. It sounds so simple, but I felt so known… and that is the BEST feeling.... to be known by your loved ones.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be all hyped up. It truly doesn’t need to be anything out of this world for me. I know my husband loves me and I’m thankful that I don’t need a day set aside to make sure her remembers to tell me. I’m so grateful for that. I’m really not griping here, I’m just sharing how comical it had become for us.

This will be our 18th Valentine’s Day to celebrate together. This year we will be going on a real, adult date because we were lucky enough to find a sitter. We will go to dinner and maybe we will get a little adventurous and go to a movie too, y’all! But for dinner, because we always find ourselves talking about the kids or - you guessed it - politics (just during this season, it’s not all the time, y’all), I thought it might be fun to make up some conversation cards to talk about something new! After 18 years, it’s kind of hard to find new conversations to have, right?!

 download conversation cards here

If you’d like to print your own, I’d LOVE it!! Let’s all arrive at dinner + pull these little things out of our purse! ***Cards are kid-friendly too, if you find yourself on a date night with them tagging along!!!*** Just click right here and you’ll be taken to the google doc!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all! May your expectations be low + your heart be full!

Meal Plan for Monday!

So, when I "have it all together", which is rare, I like to do my meal planning for the week on Sunday night. Most of the time I start to think about it before then, but I like to put my pen to paper for sure on Sunday night. Meal planning used to be something that I loved - because I do love to cook - but now that I have five different sets of tasteb uds I'm trying to accommodate PLUS various schedules in eating time, it proves to be quite the task! I've always loved to see how and what other people cook for their families. I hope this gives you some ideas!!!

Pizza Rolls + BBQ Chopped Salad 

>>>My kiddos love these pizza rolls and I don't make them that often. I have recently discovered this chopped salad by Dole and my kids LOVE it. They actually eat salad!! (And I usually throw some chicken on mine and it's my meal!!!)<<<

Brown Sugar + Garlic Chicken

Sweet Potato Skins

>>>On Tuesdays and Thursdays I like to do something in the crockpot that cooks all day or I can make ahead. Usually I'm running around or working like a crazy person while all of my kids are occupied these days, so by the time dinner rolls around I'm beat. The crockpot is my saving grace these days.<<<

Baked Parmesean Mushrooms

Marinated Pork Tenderloin 

Southwest Chopped Salad

Brisket Tacos + Tortilla Chips and Homemade Salsa

Prosciutto Wrapped Asparagus

 >>>Brisket is one of my all-time favorite things to make. Mainly because my kids like it and I can repurpose it in a million ways. Brisket Tacos are our favorite, but I also make pizza + nachos and breakfast quesadillas with it. Not to mention just eating it by itself..... or on a hawaiian roll with a little bbq sauce! Usually I make mine by sticking on top of some sliced onions, rubbing some Butt Rub on top of it and emptying a jar of BBQ sauce in there. Easy peasy and it smells awesome. <<<

What's for dinner in your kitchen this week?????

(Not) Finding Balance

(source)

With running my own business from home, I seem to get the question often : “how do you balance it all?”

I laugh that evil laugh and smile a little sly-er than normal and begin to divulge my big secret.

I don’t.

There you have it.

There is no big secret. There is no trick. The truth is that I don’t balance anything… and I certainly don’t do it well.

This is not to say that I’m all self deprecating about it and stuff. I used to be that way, for sure. I’ve found freedom in giving grace to myself that balance doesn’t come easy to me… if at all.

That all being said, I have found a secret to feeling balanced.

I’ve somehow come to accept that there will always be something that feels chaotic. There will always be an area of life that is out. of. control. That’s life. Whether it is kids’ schedules or my husband traveling or school work or my shop opening (or closing) or parts of our ministry… there will always be something that is chaotic. Accepting that has been the best choice for everyone involved, especially myself. Period.

There is, however, a difference between feeling balanced and being balanced. While I’ve accepted the fact that -at least for me - there will never actually BE balance, I have found that I can actually feel balanced, even in the chaos. The key is knowing what my priorities are. And I know that sounds all cliche, and not only do I not mean it in that way, but I also don’t mean it to sound cliche… because it’s not.

This is what works best for me… and I’m hoping you can find some little nuggets here and there that might work for you if you find yourself running a muck in the chaos!

There are three areas that need to be P R I O R I T I Z E D in my life in order me to feel balanced…. or actually, for me to not care that everything isn’t balanced.

FIRST - I must get up before everyone else in the morning and get still before the Lord.

This has looked different in different seasons of my life… but at some point when B was super little, I realized that spending time with the Lord was such a different experience when I did it first thing in the morning, specifically in a still and quiet house. It completely changes the course of my day.

Now, before you tune me out because you’re in the middle of a busy season where you need all the sleep you can get or you’re staying up late with a sick baby or studying for school at all hours of the night, please know I am not talking about that “quiet time” that is ingrained in your head growing up at the local baptist church.

This has looked completely different throughout different seasons of my life. Even from day to day it’s different. Some days it’s reading scripture. Sometimes it’s actually doing a bible study. Sometimes it’s reading Jesus Calling. Some days… especially when life is completely stressful and I’m not getting much sleep (hello, new mommas!!) I like to get my coffee and sit in a dimly lit room and listen to worship music. Eyes closed and everything. Just letting it soak into the depths of my soul and feed me. Sometimes I carve out 45 minutes. Some days, y’all… it’s 5 or 10. Don’t get caught up in the quantity of time.

Whatever you need to do, however you can get Truth into your heart… do it. I know people do it at other parts of the day, but I’m telling you………. it is worth it to get up earlier than everyone else. Promise.

Next is the hardest to keep in place. My people.

For me to feel on top of my game and for it to be easier for me to roll with the punches, I need to have my people taken care of. This means getting them fed (it doesn’t mean I need to be fixing meals all the dang time, but it does mean I plan for not fixing the meals if that’s the case). This means having the house relatively in order and feeling cozy. The 15 minute refresh helps a TON with this. I function BEST when my house is feeling tidy. Not clean necessarily - think scrubbing the toilets - but tidy and picked up and restful.

When my people are relaxed, I feel relaxed. When they feel full, I feel full. It’s really as simple as that. And although this area takes on a life of it’s own many days because of doctor’s appointments, practice schedules, and homework, if this remains in second place for me consistently, I can feel my muscles begin to loosen and my heart begin to settle in.  

Taking care of my people is a privilege, not a burden, although it can feel like it sometimes. It’s all about perspective for me, and priority.

The last is my business. 

Note to Self :: I easily switch this one and the one prior to this, my people, and when I do that, I feel the most out of balanced and stressed as I ever do. Must make sure I keep these two in line.

When I first got crazy in business, I remember discussing with another business owner how she makes time for everything. The best piece of advice I ever got was that even though I work at home, make my own hours, set my own pace, it’s still a business. It is not just a hobby for me. I am trying to make money and make it worth my time. Once I said that out loud, Little Branches began to sit differently in my house.

I started not feeling guilty when I needed to “work” and have the kids play independently for a bit. (That generally is Landry’s nap time, if you’re wondering). It’s okay for them to play by themselves y’all. In fact, it’s very good for them! I even started to say no to lunch dates and play dates that sat in the middle of my “work hours”. Once I saw that time as dedicated work time, with few exceptions, it helped me be able to set work aside when I was done.

When you work at home, it’s very hard to close the door at night. It’s always there. The studio is always overflowing with work and the garage is always needing to be picked up. But, basically setting “office hours”, if you will has helped tremendously in easing my mind as to the notion that I always need to be working.

There will always be work to be done. Life will always be crazy… until it’s not, and then we will miss it. I won’t always have this life to live, and I do want to live it. I want to be present in every moment of every day. That doesn’t come easy to this people-pleasing, multitasking momma, but I’m working on it. When I am consistent in making sure everything is in perspective, and in it’s spot priority-wise, life feels easier… and much less stressful.

How do you find balance? Is it easy for you? I’d love to hear your tips if you have some!!!

15 Minute Refresh

Okay so things are about to get real up in here. Real vulnerable… so let’s promise each other we won’t be judgmental about what I’m about to share with you, mmmkay?

Let’s just say that I have a friend who has had days where she looks down at 4:30 and is still in her pajamas - er, workout clothes - and looks around and wonders “what have I done all day?” Does this ring a bell with anyone?? I mean, not myself, but any of y'all?!

Has your hubby ever called and said he’ll be home in 15 minutes and you think, “C R A P”, I guess I should turn Netflix off and make my bed. Hmmm…. and maybe now would be a good time to brush my teeth….and maybe get the kids out of their jammies….”

Being a stay at home mom (or work at home mom... or single mom... or any kind of wifey!) does NOT mean we sit at home and eat Bon Bons and watch Netflix all day - but there ARE days where it’s easy to not get anything crossed off your list. Either it’s because you’ve been drowning in a pile of laundry, or a sick - or just plain  needy - baby, or you’ve been running errands like a crazy person, or you just maybe took an hour for “yourself” to sit on the couch and watch netflix - er, read a book.

It’s easy for a day to feel completely wasteful and for your husband to walk in the door with wide eyes and ask the dreaded question, “what have you been doing all day?” (Let’s not get into the fact that he should N E V ER ask that question, am I right?)
But I have some quick and painless ways to hit restart - even at 4:30 in the afternoon - so that when your hubby, or other invited guests, walk in the door, it feels calm and refreshing.

1. TURN ON (LOUD) MUSIC.

The only exception to this step is if you have a baby napping. I have found that Taylor Swift does the trick every time, but for you it might be George Strait or Maroon 5. I am a worship music gal, but for this particular exercise, worship music doesn’t do it for me. I need something super upbeat and get-movingish to snap me out of whatever kind of funk I’m in that day. This step is essential to a successful Refresh.

2. ENLIST YOUR CHILDREN

If your children are old enough (like mine), enlist them to help. This is where the music helps too. For us, they’ve gotten use to this process so they know that when the music goes on loud at the end of the day, it’s pick up time. They are in charge of picking up upstairs, taking up their laundry and anything else from downstairs and a lot of days I make them pick up the back yard at this time too. Mainly, their job is to let me do MY job too.

3. SET YOUR TIMER FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES AND GO.

This helps you from getting distracted when an email dings on your computer or a text comes through on your phone. This is “get it done” time and you CAN do it, so focus!!

4. PICK UP THE MAIN SPACE

Our house is basically one giant room on the bottom that we live in, so this is where I start. It’s what Jeff - or anyone - would see when they walk in the door. I put away any dishes in the sink and anything that is on the counter in the kitchen. This is not reorganizing and throwing away time… this is putting it away as fast as we can time.

After I finish with the kitchen, I pick up the living room… whatever the kids haven’t already picked up. I generally have to fold blankets and put pillows back on the couch and clean up the tornado that Landry has left in his wake. **At this point, I generally put most of his toys away and leave out just a handful that aren’t messy. So he’ll have his play table and maybe a big car or two and a ball. But I put up his blocks and shape sorter, etc…. anything that can spread out into a big mess, I put away.

I double check our bedroom to make sure the bed is made and there isn’t dirty laundry on the floor and then I’m done with the pickup step. The goal is not to pickup the whole house… just where YOU or YOUR HUSBAND hang out. What he’ll most likely be walking through in the first 10 minutes he gets home.

5. DUST

You probably read this step and thought, I’m out… but hang with me. I hate dusting too. But I’ve found that the swifter duster is A M A Z I N G for this little process. And quick. I simply drag it along all of the surfaces in the living room, breakfast nook and bedroom. Easy peasy. It probably takes me 90 seconds. For real.

6. OPERATION SMELL CLEAN + SHINE ALL THE THINGS.

This is my favorite step and it combines tips from some favorite women in my life.

First, I pour a little lemon pine sol in my kitchen sink and then fill it up with hot water. Not all the way, but some. While it’s filling up, I run around to the bathrooms and pour a little in each toilet and then come back to the sink. Turn off the water, then grab some lemon clorox wipes and head back to the bathroom.

This is FlyLady’s infamous “swish and swipe”. Swish the pinesol water around in the toilet with the toilet brush and then wipe down the seat real quick with one of the clorox wipes. Done. If you’re feeling like you’re doing good on time, wipe the bathroom counter down too (PRIOR to wiping the toilet, of course!)

Wipe down all the kitchen counters either with the wipes or your favorite counter cleaner. I love Mrs. Meyer’s basil scented spray. This isn’t a move all of the things and wipe type of deal… I just do what I can see and move on.

Next - one of my favorite tips of all time - use one of the clorox wipes to wipe down the door frame (and door) that your beloved husband (or guests) will walk into. This will ensure that they will step into a smell-clean home. Smell is the most powerful scent…. so keep that in mind! I typically wipe down the door and then the trim in the hallway he walks through just to make sure it REALLY smells good!!

***Throw away your wipes and leave the pinesol in the sink for the time being***

7. FIX YO-SELF

This is the point in time that you get dressed - even if it’s just changing from sweatpants and a tee shirt to JEANS and a tee shirt. If your teeth are feeling a bit fuzzy… BRUSH THEM. Put on a little perfume. Wash your face if you need to… or put on a little blush, mascara and lip gloss - my favorite combo. You’ll feel better and if your hubby is on his way home you’ll look FRESH and ready to welcome him home.

8. CHANGE THE MUSIC.

After the mad rush of cleaning and picking up is over, I settle the music down to what my kids call “cooking music.” It’s a nice blend of Norah Jones, Harry Connick and Frank Sinatra. (You can follow me over on spotify.) It relaxes me and it also sets the tone for the household for the rest of the evening.

9. SET THE TABLE

If you’re having dinner together, go ahead and set the table. For me, this typically happens after the timer goes off… and that’s okay. I enlist one of the children to help. Our table happens to be located right where Jeff walks in so it’s a nice statement to be made… “we’re looking forward to having dinner together!” if it’s set all nice and ready. Honestly, my kids fight over who gets to set the table. It’s weird, I know. But I’ll just go with it at this point.

10. EMPTY THE SINK + FLUSH THE TOILETS   

You can’t have him knowing what your secrets are!

BONUS STEP :: GET SOMETHING COOKING

If you have dinner planned - or even if you don’t - this is a great way to scream “LOOK, I’VE DONE SOMETHING TODAY!” to whoever it is that walks in the door. A tip I received from a friend of my mom’s is to caramelize some onions so when you’re hubby walks in he gets that beautiful smell! Or throw some break + bake cookies in the oven.

***Caramelizing onions is super simple. Throw a bit of butter in a skillet and slice up some onions real thin and let it go to work on medium heat. They take about 30 minutes to caramelize all the way… so it’s a GREAT thing to have set on the stove when someone walks in. And you can throw them over most anything you’re cooking. Except maybe a casserole. But if you’re making a casserole in the oven, you don’t need the onions caramelizing anyway, right?

And there you have it.

My 15 Minute Refresh. A good combo of advice and tips I’ve received from wise women I’ve met and stuff I’ve found to be true for myself!! I hope it helps y’all to have a happy home too! If you have any tips I’d LOVE to hear them! Share them below so we can all benefit from them!!!!