Last week I had the honor of meeting my daughter for her mother's day tea at school. She had wanted to wear her best new dress {thanks, Jennifer} and had requested that I dress up for it as well {as I dropped her off in my work out clothes, unshowered and smelly I'm sure}.
She had been counting down the {school} days until her tea. In the days leading up to it, she would start telling me something about her tea and then stop herself, putting her hand on her mouth quickly, and while giggling she would sweetly say "miss paweeene said it has to be a supwise." {interpreted : Miss Pauline said it has to be a surprise}. Sweet thing has been so excited - as if it's Christmas or something.
As I was getting ready for the tea, I thought to myself how much she'd love my maxi dress. I put on dangly earrings so that she would comment on them and I even wore - wait for it - high heels. The smile on my face continued to grow as I prepared for our special tea together, knowing how special she would feel by spending time with just me. I so badly wanted her to feel like it was a big honor for me to get to go - not that it was an obligation on my part - but that I was looking forward to it just as much as she was. Desiring to fill up her little love tank.
As I got into the car to drive to school, {and don't get me wrong, this was eating into my time alone}, I began to pray that God would bless our time together. I began to thank Him for a sweet daughter who is so positive, encouraging and very light-hearted. She loves me y'all, just the way I am. No amount of hollering, imperfections or mistakes could skew her love for me, at least at this age. I was simply calling out to the Lord and praising Him for such a sweet daughter for our family, who encourages all of us and builds each of us up.
I found myself praising the Lord and asking that I would be able to see myself sometimes the way that she sees me. He gently led me to His perspective - He sees me even more perfectly than she does. She may discount the hollering and discipline and irritability sometimes, but she doesn't forget it all the time. He does. He doesn't even remember the mistakes I made yesterday, and boy were there a lot of them. The ways that I fell short, the words muttered under my breath. He forgives me and then moves it as far as the east is from the west and just flat out loves me just the way I am... more perfectly than sweet Charlotte could ever love me.
Sweet Heavenly Father, thank You for seeing me. Thank you for loving me despite all of my flaws and loving me so perfectly + so greatly that no one else on this earth could possibly love me more perfectly than You do. No one else can see past all of the flaws to see only the wonderful character qualities that You created in me. You see me the way You created me, not the way that I am in the world. You see an imperfect heart that runs hard after Jesus most days and that desires You moment after moment. The moments that I fail are immediately forgiven when I ask - and I do not have to continue to approach the throne of grace, with my tail between my legs for what I did two or said two weeks ago. You are such an amazing God!
Help me, Lord God, to see myself the way that You see me. Help me to weed out the bad, not to dwell on it and beat myself up over it. Help me to hand it over to You, beg for mercy + change. Lord, show me how to love myself the way You love me. The amount of joy I experience in my life is directly related to the depth of understanding I can have of Your complete love for me. Thank You for holding my hand and building me up. Thank You for being a God of love, kindness and mercy. Thank You for sending Jesus so that You can gaze upon me the way You do each day. Thank You for bridging the gap, sweet Jesus. Remind me today of Your love when I mess up and feel less than adequate. Thank You for sending a sweet reminder last week through little eyes + little words. She is truly a gift!
Sweet sisters, I encourage You to look at yourself the way God does. I pray that You would be able to bask in the glow of His faithfulness, His doting kindness and mercy today. You are not only enough, but You are His daughter that makes Him proud when He looks at You. You are one who makes a smile on His face when You seek Him, when you run to Him with open arms asking for forgiveness. He answers, y'all. Let Him answer your call today.
Have an awesome weekend!
xoxo.
"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you, in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” {Zephaniah 3:17}
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