Monday, February 10, 2014

rise up giveaway + my thoughts on mean girls

happy monday, sweet readers! i hope you found yourself waking up well rested & ready for a wonderful week! i woke up extra energized after spending the weekend with our youth group worshipping Jesus. i hope you are finding yourself extra blessed this morining!

speaking of blessed, i am overwhelmed & humbled at the amount of YOU who entered the rise up giveaway. i am blown away by the reception that this collection has been receiving. YOU are sweet treasures in my book & i cannot believe that i get to do what i do and share my God-given gifts with you. 

so, without further ado - the winner is laura butler! congratulations, laura! your happies will be in the mail this week!!

also, for those of you wanting to order, the rise up collection has officially launched. click over to etsy to order! thank you again for your kindness. i so appreciate each sweet word & thought. y'all are amazing!

so, like i mentioned earlier, we spent the weekend with the youth group at a retreat our church does called freedom. {it's basically disciple now or D-now}. the hubbs & i grew up going to this retreat so we are more than happy to volunteer our time to help out with it going forward. you could never do these kinds of retreats without volunteers, right? 

our friends hosted a house of 9th grade girls & i helped with food and driving. it was such a blessing to be a part. each of our girls came in a pair, except one. but on sunday when i was driving them to the service, they were each exchanging phone numbers and "kick" addresses. {what is a kick?!?}

it warmed my heart. 

but as we spent some time there this weekend it was incredibly interesting to observe the social rules of high school again. yes, i think a LOT of it has changed - for instance - cell phones + social media were nonexistent when i was in high school - but a lot of it hasn't changed. 

there's still the popular crowd. the loners. the mean kids. the bullies. the awkward ones. the spiritual ones. the leaders. 

and it was interesting talking to our girls about mean girls. julie & i definitely saw some mean girls this weekend. pushing through the crowd like they owned the place & like they were better than everyone else. we could see them sizing everyone up & talking about the outcasts. making the outcasts. 

it was just plain mean. and it's different seeing it from the outside looking in. 

why did we ever give those mean people 'status'? why did they have power in our high schools? because we gave it to them? there's no other explanation, right? if we had just all chosen not to give them attention then it would have gone away, right? they would have become powerless. but in that moment - in high school - it doesn't feel like we have the power to change it. 

but as moms, we do. 

i realized this weekend that i only have a short time to change my daughter's outlook. listening to our girls talk about their moms & the influence they have on their lives - good AND bad - was a complete eye opener for me. i realized that it's my job to not only teach c how to include others, but that it's my job to model that for her. 

i've been the victim to mean girls. i would venture to say that we all have at one time or another. even at thirty years old it doesn't change. there are still those who don't include others. who are a part of a "click" and refuse to invite others in. there are still girls who talk behind another's back, who pass judgement and gossip and hate. it's awful and it hurts to the bone. still

but i also realized this weekened, that i'm probably in the 'mean girl' category more often than i'd like to be. even if it's not in the form of pushing myself to the front of the line or demanding attention - being loud and dramatic. but i do have ugly thoughts. and sometimes {more than i'd like to admit} gossip & share things that are none of my business. and, just being honest here, i speak unkind words more than i'd like to admit.

ugh.... i'm wretched. and i'm completely broken over it this morning. 

because i realized this weekend that a lot of those unkind words & ugly thoughts come from a deep place of hurt. i'm thirty years old {give or take a year or two, right?} and my feelings still get hurt by other girls women.  and instead of just saying, "you know what? i'm hurting", i lash out in the form of gossip, resentment & anger. it's completely unholy & i'm thankful for a God who extends grace and forgiveness to my ugliest parts.

but the worst part is that i'm modeling this for my daughter. 

i want to change that. i want to show her what it's like to befriend the lonely. i want to show her what it looks like to speak words of life & love. how to include everyone - and the balance that comes with including everyone and having best friends - because there is a balance. you can't have deep & meaningful relationships with twenty five people, you just can't. but you can be kind and thoughtful.  that is my desire for her tender heart. 

so let me challenge you this week to look for that lonely person. to look for the one who might shrink back. i would bet that they're hurting and YOU could change that. i'm not saying you need to become their bestie. but you CAN be Jesus to them, kind & caring & thoughtful. i fail at this daily, but after my high school flash back this week, i will be working harder at it & hope maybe you will too. 

blessings today. 


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