when it rains....

hi friends!

happy monday to you!

i'm so excited for this week. although i woke up extremely tired this morning.

we were up until 1:30 in the morning last night.

partly because had the awesome privelage of going to the cowboys game. {woot!}

but partly because i totally forgot about b's first kindergarten homework assignment.

what?

epic mom fail.

we had been talking about it all week. how we wanted to decorate his "all about me" person. does he want it to be a soccer player? texas? superman?

i had great plans of getting macaroni and popsicle sticks and pompoms out and having a serious craft time.

but the weekend got away from us.

and there we were. j and i standing in the kitchen at midnight drawing a cowboys football uniform on the figure.

fail.

but this morning when j picked him up we had a plan. we had stickers and crayons and all of that for him to decorate his person.

ugh...... i felt terrible.

and it was ironic.

because last night on the way home from the game i got a precious email from someone about ordering something i'm not offering in my shop right now. i so wanted to say "sure, i'd love to make that for you!"

but i stopped myself. i couldn't.

because i had an epiphany two weeks ago that i'll never move forward and be able to design and create new things if i keep reproducing the same thing over and over.

don't get me wrong, i'll bring stuff back {umm, hello? christmas anyone?!} but right now i'm preparing for two craft shows in the future and i need to work on that. i'm so excited about that.

so excited.

because i get to make one of a kind pieces with cool wood that i've found - and not worry about having to ship or list or accurately describe them. or even be able to reproduce them.

but that's not even the point.

the point is that i am guilt ridden every time i fail. or disappoint someone. or can't meet someone's desire. even when they are SO kind and understanding and sweet.

i've always known i was a peacemaker. a pleaser. but i think i pretend it's not as big of an issue as it really is. 

and i feel like when i let one person down i might as well have let 100 people down. and with the next question or concern it might as well be 500.

are you with me? 

nope? 

crickets?

on our way home {late!} from the football game i was thinking on this. and praying that the Lord would teach me to let. things. go. come on, already. i'm thirty {something!} and i haven't learned how to let this stuff roll off my back yet? let's get it together.

and i thought, "Lord, when it rains i feel like it pours. the highs are high, but the lows seem to be low."

and He gently nudged me to remember.

remember the monday i got the email from weir's. remember that's the same week i got invited to craft weekend. {can i get a "holla!"?} that's the same week j finished up his first session.

and so it seems... that maybe it's not necessarily ONLY that when it rains it pours... but when the sun shines its - well - maybe we could say it's really bright?!

a very wise friend of mine told me during the campaign that we needed to train ourselves. to not let our highs get too high or our lows be too low. but to just remain constant.

in Him.

in His victory.

in contendedness.

no matter the circumstance. the daily routine. the monotonty. the good emails. the bad news.

He is constant. 

and it reminds me of the passage in scripture that talks about seasons. 

we are supposed to be happy and to mourn.

but we are not made to do it alone.

we are made to do it in fellowship with Him. 

and there in-lies the steadiness.

ahh. 

what freedom we have in Jesus.

i pray you feel that freedom today. 

and that we can all come alongside each other and keep steady. celebrate the victories. but not for too long. to mourn the losses. but not to dwell. 

that's the body of Christ.

and i love being a small part.

have a wonderful evening, friends. 

xoxo.