Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Choosing Trust // A Devotional

Apparently, I am a bit of what you might call a control freak. Which is hilarious to me, because I’ve always thought of myself as fun-loving and laid back. I might be easy going in social situations and even in big, life-altering situations, but in the nitty gritty daily things of my life, I apparently have trouble letting go.

God has slowly shown me how much control I truly desire in life. He’s shown me the white-knuckled grip that I like to have. It has shocked me. 

I trust that He’s got the big things, y'all. The ones that I so obviously don’t have control over. The decisions that we know He’s called us to? That stuff is easy, and honestly it comes more natural to me. It has become a joy to trust Him in those things. I’ve watched Him come through time and time again. I’ve watched the ugly turn into an avenue for His glory. I’ve watched eternal conversations come out of dark situations.

It’s easier to trust in the hard, honestly, because I don’t have another choice.

But what about those things that think we can have control over? Those things that become frustrating when they don’t work the way that we’ve planned? As a mom, my mind immediately goes to my kids. We think we have control over their actions. That is, until we are in the grocery store and they reach for a bag of oreos (bless) and when we say no they’re all of a sudden on the ground sprawled out like they’ve never gotten anything their heart desires their entire life. (Not that this has happened to me, y’all).

If someone is sick and it doesn’t make sense, I have to trust. I have no choice but to trust. But if my Etsy shop does poorly? All of a sudden I question everything. I question my calling, I question my talent, His leading, my motives. Everything. I try to wiggle around and make a new way. I scramble and wrestle and fight and what's so hard for me to realize is that I don’t need to.

God tells us that HE is that way. He makes a way where there seems to be no way. Scripture doesn’t say, “Becky makes a way.” It says HE does. And the sad thing is that I’ve allowed myself to live in this struggle for the past several months, instead of simply choosing trust!

“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”
Is 43:18-19

Did you catch that? He will make a roadway in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. That isn’t anything that Becky Leach can do, y'all. I mean, maybe you can, but I can’t. When my mind begins to get all squirrley and starts going a million miles an hour with all of the “what about ____” stuff, I feel a gentle whisper come into my spirit, “Becky, trust Me.”

What are you having to trust Him with today?

If I am being super vulnerable here, which I feel like is the whole point, these dumb instagram changes have me all up in arms about business. It’s so stupid, y’all. I mean, I keep thinking that I will never be successful again. Maybe that's slightly dramatic, but in all seriousness, I had just figured out how to work Instagram for my shop and how to gain a steady flow of sales through that avenue.

And then it changed. Dumb Instagram.

All of a sudden I’m back in that position of questioning everything. “Is this even what You want me to do? Are you punishing me for something? Are You taking me in a new direction? Are You telling me to work harder?” and as my mind starts to spin, I turn into this awful ball of stress.

Painting signs makes me happy. He’s gifted me with the ability to do so, and it fills me up. It’s also a lot of work, and that is okay. Just because it isn’t easy, doesn’t mean He’s calling me away from it. I mean, if that were the case we’d all be changing jobs every five days.

Then God began to press something into me, y’all, and it’s this :: God can do way for me and Little Branches than Instagram ever could. He’s showing me that His timing is best and He has it ALL in His hand. This Instagram change is not out of His control. I know it seems so silly and insignificant, but it is still not a surprise to Him. He knew when I created LB three and a half years ago, that this was coming down the pipe. He knew that there would need to be a reevaluation of marketing, design, networking and so on at this point.

It’s way easier for me to think that He doesn’t get off of His throne when unexplainable things happen, like my miscarriage. But when things that I think should be in my control happen, for me, it’s HARD to rest in Him and not get into a tizzy about it.

Do you know what it does though when I lose control? It pushes me to the Father.

When I choose trust over fear, I give God a chance to come through for me. I give Him the opportunity to meet my needs instead of trying to meet them myself. And that increases my faith. That is what deepens my knowledge of Him and is when I dig into the scripture to discover His promises as they come alive in my life.

So I think I’ll take that loss of control today. If it sends me to the point of anxiety and worry, I will choose to recall that He is doing a NEW thing. That He has promised peace for those who trust in Him. That God and only God is the one that can make streams in the desert.

Won’t you make that choice with me?  Is it an easy choice or is it difficult to let go? Let Him take it today and see what He does with it. It’s not a feeling, but a choice, and the choice, my friend, is in our control.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

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