how little branches was born

i've struggled for quite some time with being who i think i'm "supposed" to be. please tell me i'm not the only one.

before i had the littles, i was a designer at a large architecture firm in downtown dallas. i loved my job. loved the work, loved the people i worked with & loved all of the beauty that i was exposed to while working there. with that said, i struggled with what the design of my home was "supposed" to be since - you know - i was a "designer". shouldn't it be modern, classic & clean? i was exposed to ALL different designs at work. the latest & the greatest was always sitting on my desk in some shape or form. but this all made for a confused design esthetic at my home. i was trying to be something that i wasn't. i'm not talking about being a designer, i'm talking about having a hard time appreciating everything but being comfortable with my choices for myself.

when i quit my job & stayed at home i had a picture all lined out for myself of what a "stay at home" mom looked like. involved, organized, good at time management, my home would always smell good. the toys would be neatly lined up in matching baskets with tags. i'd always wear makeup & have something yummy on my stove when the hubbs got home for dinner. 

can you say it with me? "how's that working out for ya?"

y'all. i'm flawed. in a big way. i'm messy. scattered. disorganized. i'm actually a pretty decent cook, but i'm a piler & i don't ever put away laundry. like, ever.

and i could get totally stuck on this. some days i do. for years, i did. 

and when the hubbs ran for office & i decided i needed to fit into this "politician's wife" mold, i felt like i was banging my head against a wall when i just didn't. i was so discouraged because i felt like i kept falling short of what i thought the Lord wanted me to be.

but the Lord gently reminded me that He made me in His own image. He reminded me that He blessed me with these strengths & allowed my weaknesses because His power is made perfect through them.

He didn't want me to be anything but what He created me to be. messy and disorganized? maybe. but maybe i should start looking at myself from His perspective. 

i will never be politically minded like my husband. i just won't. there are things that are dear to me but i won't ever run for office. i do not wear suits. {i wore ripped up jeans & my zooey deschanel look alike glasses out to dinner with some of our constituents}. i love the people i have met but i will never know all the issues. and i do not need to in order to support the husband that the Lord blessed me with.  that is the key here. 

i am a creative. whatever that means to you, it means a lot of different things to me. but recently it went from meaning "i am a hot mess" to "i am a child of God who is blessed with creativity". what a revelation!

and thus, little branches was born. out of an earnest desire to be who the Lord created me. to use the talents & gifts He had bestowed on me to reach out & bless someone else with the work from my hands. what i have for so long thought of as a hinderance or an undesirable quality has now become something i am incredibly proud of.

i can also, in turn, bless my family with my earnings. it's such a blessing to contribute a little extra to the financial load! if you wonder if it's 'godly' to be a business woman, just read proverbs 31. she's a role model for the modern day business woman!

more recently, as we gear up to move, i've had my hopes set on a new mattress. {ours is over 15 years old!} and maybe a new washer and dryer. you know, those pretty shiny ones. maybe a red one? ahhh... a gal could dream. and yes, the hubbs & i could talk about it and save up, but what a blessing that would be if little branches could provide this so it doesn't dip into our already planned savings and yearly budget?

but the Lord has other plans for the fruits of little branches... and i cannot wait to share with you all tomorrow!